Thursday, February 26, 2009

Tight T-Shirt Visionaries

Half-shirts are making its way back into the main stream. Last week an independent poll showed that Build-A-Bear had the tightest and shortest half shirts available on the market. Unfortunately, they are made for Teddy Bears.

Jive has created a niche with its tight half-shirts. "Developers and integrators are seeing half shirts as a way to express themselves" said an anonymous
QA Engineer who tends to overheat during testing cycles.

We need a reform of the t-shirt market and Jive has done it with the introduction of half-shirts.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Arjo Contemplates Renditions While Plowing Snow

Some have debated as to whether the drawing of the man sipping hot chocolate in the snow is really BNX's lead visionary -- Arjo Henderson. "That can't be him" said an anonymous QA engineer for another project. Last I heard, that project was doomed. Some have questioned as to whether RGA drew the comp of Arjo as a stretch goal assignment. "RGA has always had a way with nature" commented Corey who doesn't seem to make anything clearer.

The much anticipated BNX11 is set to launch in May. Some say that it will win more awards than "Slumdog Millionaire" and "Baywatch" combined.

My Orthodontist

If I were to rate my orthodontist on TripAdvisor, she would get a 5 star. My orthodontic experience is unlike any other which includes services such as homemade cookies, monthly quizzes with extraordinary prizes, relationship therapy and non-stop 80's love songs. And I'd like to add that the people that work there are amazing and they smell like fruit.

I have never won a prize yet and I've been going for over a year. I've applied the "Slumdog Millionaire" approach to answering the quizzes but it never seems to work. One of the quiz question was "How much will Ericka's baby weigh when born?" I predicted 175 pounds because I had a flashback of the time when I carried one of my co-workers off the basketball court after whining over a cheap foul. The baby ended up weighing 7.5 pounds.

Next time you have an issue related to anything, I highly recommend my orthodontist.

Friday, February 20, 2009

It's Not Just A T-Shirt, It's A Half Shirt

Vendors usually give out t-shirts along with their product releases but Jive takes a different approach. They give out what I would arguably classify as "half shirts." When I first got my size "L" Clearspace half shirt, I wore it in the gym and my friends said, "Dude, what is that? That's just wrong." But the more I wore it and washed it, the smaller it became until the social aspect of it sky-rocketed.

I'm excited to see the unveiling of the new half shirts along with the Clearspace3.o release and I would be very interested in beta-testing it and joining the Jive Half Shirt Task Force. Personally, I think Jive should allow users to download half shirts just like Digg.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The Nurse From Hell

It was the worst pain I had ever gone through. I'm pretty sure she missed my vein because it turned out to be a bloody mess.

I fainted for what seemed like 24 hours but they told me that it was only 5 seconds. I'm pretty sure that my left brain was idle and my right brain was taxed 100%. During that time, I had dreams that our development for May was complete and my bug-free software was running beautifully and adoption was high but then I woke up.

I'm now back to work with a scab on my arm and trying to code at the same time. Tweet me @kdomen with affection.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Chris Enters New Pastures

"Leaving BNX is one of the hardest things I've ever done" said Corey. Corey is the youngest and most verbal of two siblings. He was over-protected from the world at large.

This week, Chris leaves BNX forever to join golf. He was the ultimate BNX evangelist with the charisma of JFK and Bobby Knight combined. Some have even claimed that Chris invented the categories.

There will be drinks on Friday to convince Chris not to go.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Neb Leaves A Legacy

Neb will leave us tomorrow in a most unprecedented fashion-- in a super tight Nike Swift Suite and a Jive megaphone while I play "Momma Said Knock You Out" by L.L. Cool J.

"He's a tender yet deadly coder-- kind of like the IceMan" said Corey who doesn't follow basketball and yet makes correlations based shallow facts.

"I find it very interesting that Neb is making a move before the Iowa caucuses" said Andrew Crawford who spends a majority of his time in chaos theory. Personally, I think he read Freakonomics and is trying to apply it to everything including his Nagios scripts.

Jive is definitely getting a superstar. We never had to use Wikipedia or Google while Neb was here. He will certainly be missed...